Don't let these "game killers” stand in your way.
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Being successful with women is as much about what you don’t do as what you do. In other words, your personality might be amazingly attractive to women. But no one would know it, if one of these seven “game killers” is standing in your way.
Neediness is dating death. Don’t rely on her for approval and validation. That’s the surest way to make her run. Show her that you’re a man who can take care of your life. If you've just met, don’t “open up” to her with all of your fears and insecurities. She’s not your mom.
Social skills are currency for many women–it’s how they get what they want. Female-dominated professions are often ones where social skills are especially important. Women practice these skills constantly; men, for the most part, don’t.
As such, a man with good social intelligence is very attractive to women, whereas an awkward man can make them run screaming in the other direction. If you’re the guy who sometimes says the wrong thing or brings conversation to a halt, then it might be time for less TV and movies and more happy hours and parties.
3) Being a Pushover
I’m probably going to get in trouble for saying this, but in my experience, most attractive women want—no, crave—a man who can stand up to her.
When a woman asks you to buy her a drink within a minute of approaching her, suggests a 5-star restaurant for a first date dinner, or shows up hours late without a good reason, she knows that she is pushing the boundaries. But it’s a win-win for her. Either she gets indulged, or she meets a rare man who is on her level.
Be polite, reasonable, and even generous. But don’t let her see you as someone she can walk all over. Similarly, don’t let other people push you around when you’re out with her either. Don’t get into fights, but don’t let her see you meekly back down either.
4) Your Ex-Girlfriends
Deep resentment of your exes will alarm her. She’ll wonder about the other side of the story and she’ll worry about your stability since you seem to date people who are awful for you. She’ll also wonder about your social skills since most people know it’s not attractive to whine about your exes when you’re getting to know someone.
Being positive about your exes is fine, in small doses. Done right, it can solidify her attraction to you. This is related to the Love System concept of Pre-Selection, explained in more detail here.
There’s a difference between being sexual and being horny. Being sexual means that she’s made you feel passionate and that you want her. That’s attractive to most women, if expressed appropriately.
Being horny is the opposite. Being horny is where you’re looking for someone to have sex with, and talk to females who might be able to help with that. Even if that’s what you’re actually doing, women you talk to should never feel that that’s your game plan. Tell her why she got you all turned on.
Assume the sell. Be confident that she likes you. Be confident that everyone likes you. Or that, if they don’t, that that’s their problem. A self-assured man is very attractive to women.
Don’t seek others’ approval. Don’t brag. Don’t take it seriously if someone is teasing you (appropriately). Don’t tell her that she probably doesn’t like you, in hopes that she’ll contradict you. Don’t fish for compliments.
Instead, show her that you are strong enough to handle her, and whatever insecurities that she might have.
Ok, this is an obvious one, but I have to include it for completeness. It’s important for two reasons. First, women just tend to care more about things being clean (and have higher standards for what is considered “clean”) than most men.
Second—and this might be more important—women are always looking for clues about what kind of person you are. To you, a mustard stain might simply be a mustard stain. To her, it might be a sign that you don’t pay attention to detail, you don’t respect yourself, you don’t have social skills, or worse. Set her mind at ease and make sure both you and your house are in good, clean order.
Nick Savoy is the President of Love Systems and a regular contributor to Men’s Fitness. Follow him on twitter @LS_Savoy.