Random threesome technique

I don’t know why this just popped into my head, but I remember being out a long time ago with a few crazy friends of mine. They were all coked up, and I don’t do coke. While sober I couldn’t deal with how ridiculous they were acting, so I had to have a few shots. I use the word “a few” here in the same way that George Bush might have made “a few” mistakes in the whole Iraq thing.

Drunk Savoy turns into Troublemaking Savoy pretty quickly. I was making out with a friend of my friend and periodically going back to the bar for more drinks. At the bar, I was making out with a girl who just hanging out and otherwise minding her own business. At some point I decided that girl-at-the-bar needed to join our table, so she did. Then I was making out with both.

We’d run into Style that night. At one point I remember him giving me one of his looks. Like he was asking “do you actually have a plan here, or are you just screwing around again?”

In truth, I didn’t. Despite having a skillset, I’m not out to meet women every night. Certainly not now, but even way back then. I mean, top chefs don’t cook all day, every day. Sometimes I’m just out with coked-up friends, getting drunk, and trying to convince the bartender that you can make a drink that starts with three shots of Gin.

So Troublemaking Savoy had to turn into Dating Guru Savoy. I think my liver and brain compromised, and decided I could be Drunk Savoy Who Will At Least Try. I kissed one girl. Then the other. Then I looked at the second girl and said “you don’t mind sharing, do you?” No, she didn’t. So I asked the first one. She said she didn’t mind either. Well, gosh darn it, sharing is caring, isn’t it? We made quick plans to all go back to my apartment when the bar closed.

OK, I’m pretending that I really thought that that would work. I didn’t. It’s like the time I invented the Secretary Opener when Sinn and I were playing the “Who can get blown out quickest” game one night. After the first group opened successfully, I even said to them “you mean that actually worked? You’re not running away?” The only thing more amazing than that was that Sinn got a date with a cute blonde out of that group. Then again, Sinn could get a date out of a mannequin, so nothing surprises me anymore.

Back to that night. Logistics meant that I only actually got one of them home – the other was driving her friend back to Temecula or somewhere ridiculous. As strong as my frame is, I’m not sure it’s strong enough that a woman is going to go into my bedroom and have a threesome with two people she just met, while her friend waits out in the living room before being driven home. [Why didn't I try for the foursome? Because this was Drunk Savoy, damnit, not Creative, Greedy Savoy]. But it’s worked since then.

This technique is best used when clearly the center of attention (as Drunk Savoy so often insists on being) and clearly in a “party” vibe. Results may vary. Try. Report feedback.