This will be old hat to those experienced with Love Systems, but it came up in a student’s one-on-one with an instructor last week that I was observing, so I thought it was worth a quick tip.
Beautiful women (“9″s and “10″s) almost always have a boyfriend, or someone who fills a boyfriend-type role in her life.
Why shouldn’t she? Did you think you were the first guy to notice her? The first guy who knows how to attract her and can fulfill her emotionally and physically?
Yeah, some women are on the rebound, others have decided to try being single for a bit, others are really selective, etc., etc. – but in general, don’t expect a beautiful woman to not already have at least one man in her life. Sometimes it’s a “serious” relationship with Mr Right and sometimes it’s “Mr. Right Now”.
Now, here’s a key implication – remember from Magic Bullets on how a woman’s emotions work “backward” in terms of being attracted to a guy? She’s looking for a guy with a sense of humor, status, social intuition, and so on, but what she actually responds to is what men who have high-value characteristics are generally like.
To use a cliched example, women like confident men, not because they are confident, but because confident men tend to have a lot of qualities that women look for (success, ambition, leadership, social intuition, etc.) and men who don’t have these qualities don’t usually come across as confident.
So, beautiful women with boyfriends….they are used to lower-value men, the type of men who have never dated beautiful women before, putting a lot of emphasis on whether she has a boyfriend. They’ll ask if she’s single. They’ll back off when she mentions a boyfriend or another guy. They’ll be “respectful” at all costs.
Asking a woman if she has a boyfriend or putting a lot of weight on it when she says she does is kind of like approaching her with “can I buy you a drink” or buying her flowers on the first date. It’s something low-value men tend to do, and something high-value men tend not to do. Many beautiful women will instantly lump you in the low-value category if you react when she mentions a boyfriend, even if she doesn’t know why. (Women often don’t know why they feel attracted or lose that feeling of attraction – or they rationalize their feelings to another cause)
In contrast, the type of guy who doesn’t react when she mentions a boyfriend – usually those kinds of guys are successful with women and know how the world works.
(This is NOT to say all women will cheat. In fact, in one chapter of my upcoming relationship management DVD set, I explain the Love Systems infidelity model — a predictive model that lets you determine how and when a woman is likely to cheat. Some never will).
By the way – a lot of times, a woman will mention a boyfriend for no reason at all, or to “test” you, or for a million other possible reasons.
Check out of one of my field reports last year for an example of this.
When a woman I’m interested in tells me she has a boyfriend – the dialogue goes something like this:
Her: I have a boyfriend
Me: That’s nice. Does he treat you well?
Me: [quick pause. eye contact] I wouldn’t [slight smile]
And move forward into the next topic. (Credit PUA Future for this)
So – in summary – if she says she a boyfriend, don’t make it a big deal, don’t get into a conversation about it, it’s not a conversation that will help you. Just move forward to conversational topics that will help you. This applies until you sleep together.
For those worried about bad karma — trust me, if she really does have a boyfriend and he is giving her everything she needs and she’s not the type to cheat, she’ll mention the boyfriend again, and she’s not going to cheat with you anyway. My game is pretty tight to say the least, and I’ve met women who I could throw the kitchen at and won’t budge from “I have a boyfriend” as a response to anything that would cross the line. Most beautiful women who go out a lot (especially without their boyfriends) aren’t this committed, but many are. One cool thing about our relationship management stuff is now we can predict her behavior…before she becomes your girlfriend.