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CLASSIC POST: "Kill Beatrice"

Top pick up artist (PUA) Future contributed this to the Love Systems insider (LSi) a couple of years ago. It’s referenced in this coming week’s LSi so seemed worthwhile to republish it here.

(Update: He has since reposted it on his blog).

Beatricide

Let’s talk about love. One of the most important pieces of literature in the world is a love poem. When Dante Alighieri wrote The Divine Comedy, his intent was to show the journey of a wicked soul transformed by the power of love for a beautiful woman. In Dante’s case, the woman was named Beatrice. He met her once when he was nine years old and again when he was eighteen. From his infatuation came one of the most beautiful poems ever recorded. And he never got the girl.

We’ve all been there, I think, although most of us aren’t compelled to write epic poetry in the wake of a pretty girl’s passing. Too many of us fall sway to the halo effect: she arouses me, and thus can do no wrong! It is a position born from loneliness, from inexperience, from fear.

If you’ve been to The PUA Forums or taken a Love Systems PUA bootcamp, you know it’s axiomatic to eschew attraction to a single woman. When a student asks me how to get This Specific Girl in a phone consultation, I ask him to prepare a new question. Before you can become attractive to women, there is one thing you must do first: kill Beatrice.

I don’t say this callously. I’m a lover. I enjoy the women I’m with. I genuinely seek to find the best in people, although they often disappoint me, as I’m sure they do you. Nevertheless, I seek the goodness in other people. When I start hitting on a woman, I really do hope she’s not going to be a silly twit whose value doesn’t rise beyond the surface beauty that drew me into conversation with her.

I’m not alone. Whenever we ask students at bootcamps about their plans for the future, most of them say they’d like to find That Special Girl, even if they have to seduce a thousand young ladies to find her.

Pause.

That needs more emphasis. You must– must– become a creature of options. For your own sake. Not to become a poon-hound. Until you attain a meaningful, confident, consistent success with the women you desire, your own limitations will devalue the power of your love and limit your ability not only to acquire but also to keep The One.

Love Systems starts and ends with perceived options. Beautiful women are usually conditioned to be acceptably bitchy because they can get away with it. [Don't complain about this - learn how female psychology works so you can use it to your advantage]. Their options don’t close off when they act poorly, so they continue to do so. Less attractive women usually learn that when they like someone, they need to treat him well. Otherwise their options are drastically limited. Pretty girls are able to set their own standards of behavior, and since the odds are good they weren’t raised well, those standards typically stretch the bounds of good taste. I didn’t make the rules.

Most men act like ugly girls: don’t make waves, don’t risk the loss, and don’t treat her like merely one of your social options. Bad call. The women smell it. They feel it, like loser-water splashed all over them. They smell the underlying vibe of your every movement: I hope I don’t mess this up. This neediness — the perception that you aren’t treating them like they are women, like you are a man — is at the root of so many failed pick-ups. That girl you’re pining for might even like you, in that way…

…Just a little.
Teeny.
Bit.

But in her gut she senses a sharp discord with her own feelings of inadequacy and innate discomfort: this guy likes me too much. Boom. You lost the girl.

And so we come to the so-called seduction community. We are told over and over again how bad “oneitis” is. Message boards teem with the mighty keystrokes of those who are mad-learned on the knowledge. But when you’re in the middle of that emotional maelstrom, it’s hard to hear WHY it’s important to kill those feelings for that special, magical girl, to kill Beatrice.

Why? Because she’s not special, and neither are you.
Listen to the radio. Nearly every song is a testimony to how awesome love is.
And it is.
It’s an overwhelming state that inspires, confounds, and defines. Through its experience, all your other emotional potentials fall into sharp relief.

In fact, in the book Getting the Love You Want, Dr. Harville Hendrix distills the experience of love down to three core emotions:
1.) This person is highly unusual and specifically tailored to loving me.
2.) I’ll never feel like this again.
3.) This feeling should last forever.

Biochemically, you are DESIGNED to react to loving emotions exactly how you do. Your emotions are NOT special.
They are, in fact, the textbook definition of common.
Plebeian.
She has loved before.
So have you.
She will again.
So will you.

No, she’s not different. When I hear guys rant about how, “No, she’s different, she’s a sweet girl,” my head starts to spin. Do a search for the triumphs of Love Systems instructors; wherever you stand on the morality if the issue, at some point the testimony of other men’s wives and girlfriends has to amount to something. It’s not good or bad. It just is.

Imagine the most heinous, depraved, “slutty” thing you’ve seen or conceived. Now, know this: you know someone who’s done something like that or worse. Such is the reality of modern reality. Suck it up and deal. After all, you’re probably a normal, decent person, and all that deviance and judgment you just threw out in our imaginary situation there is NOTHING compared to the festival of sin that is your daily, hourly sexual fantasy life. What separates your thoughts from your actions? Sadly, it’s probably an issue of will and game (and for some of you, of course, the law).

No one is actually that special. But everyone is that special. That one girl isn’t worth a damn because everyone has a nugget of gold lodged somewhere in their chest. Everyone has some hidden glory. Sometimes it’s hidden very deeply. But there truly are a vast number of interesting, beautiful women, despite their minority status. In that same regard, no single girl is all you’ve made her up to be. Not one. None. No one. Some of you are reading this and thinking about This One Girl You Know. Seriously, not even her. EVEN IF EVERYTHING YOU SAY ABOUT HER IS TRUE! THERE IS A GIRL WHO IS BETTER-LOOKING, SMARTER, FUNNIER, AND NICER. YOU JUST HAVEN’T MET HER YET. That glorious sun goddess is still just another glorious sun goddess. We live on a planet with 6,200,000,000 human beings. And women are in the majority. Seriously, she’s not that special.

And that’s why you have to kill Beatrice. That muse is only holding you back because what she’s really doing, what she’s really, really accomplishing, is holding you back from being your true, glorious self. Find her seventy thousand superior counterparts. Then return.

With understanding.

Experience and willingness to learn breed perspective. When you don’t accrue a lot of experience with girls, it’s easy to get sidetracked by illusions, to forget how mortal these divine creatures are. Then, you can find a girl you want, a girl you like, a girl you can love. And you will not love her out of habit. You will not love her because she’s just the prettiest girl you’ve ever been with. You will love her because she’s the best girl to receive your love. And that statement means something because you have allowed other, female things to happen to you!

Get more from Future on The Attraction Forums (especially the classic posts) and:

* Future on Storytelling
* Future on Dates
* Future on Identity
* Future on Other Guys, Obstacles, and AMOGs
* Future on Value

Comments

  1. Eliran Mukdasi says:

    I can’t express how the last paragraph correlates to my feelings,
    Thank you for sharing “Kill Beatrice”, breathtaking.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I am not a seducer but i fancy myself as one. I often read seductions stories in the internet and they leave me unsatisfied their content is pure bluff. Your is simply melody to my ears. elegantly cospose and update

    Kudos.

    from Mario seg

  3. Marcelo says:

    great post thanks a lot

  4. Anonymous says:

    That was just so amazingly well-written.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Amazing, I was wanting to reconcile with my ex, but after reading this I'm ready to move on

  6. Well I did not remember that most men see women this way. I know engagement is just a crazy instinctive thing that makes appreciate a woman as different.

  7. I have been trying to seek this special girl and after reading 'kill beatrice' i have moved on to approach the rest of the girls in the entire world.now i want to be good with women in general not with that special girl.thanks alot and keep up the good work

  8. Anonymous says:

    Oh man ,i know this history is truth but i have a doubt
    I have the goal to come back with my ex girlfriend, now i use the tatics of love systems,mistery method,nlp in seduction to approach beautiful women and to get them to sex,but i really feel that i like my ex girlfriend,and i feel like looser if i only get another girl to be my girlfriend,now my ex girlfriend stays with Beta male,i have a emotional crisis and i told with her with a few despair.
    Well,it's a goal to me come back with her,now i'm in process to be an alpha male and to get better results into my game of seduction.
    Well What can i do to come back with her ?
    What kind of techniques maybe i must to learn ?
    I read this post ,about kill beatrice ,well it's really but i sincerely ,i studied much things about seduction ,and don't have any chance with these techniques to come back with her ?
    All these powerfulls techniques ?
    What should i do ?
    By Vic.

  9. magyque.10 says:

    True and sesere.Every body can learn something here.

  10. Textbookfairytale says:

    I asked my forum how to turn into a douchebag entailing that I want to seperate my emotions from sex and stop hanging onto every woman for dear life.

    Douchebags don't see women as women, they see them as vaginas. That's why they seem the most fun, but can't seem to fall in love.

    Most people, which are the oneitis usual people, feel as if they need to find commonalities with women, and when that girl goes away, it's like taking away those common pieces of you.

    All in all, love still hurts.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Probably one of the top posts ever written by a PUA in the community. Honestly amazingly written, deep, and incredibly true.

  12. Anonymous says:

    That was exactly what I needed to read. Thank you for a pointed and powerful post, I've now found new energy to move on.

  13. By far the best, most emotionally positive post I have ever read by the seduction community. You don't read posts like these that infer a genuine affection and caring for women. Usually PUA come across as douchebags trying to be cool, but this shows both a sensitivity and true masculinity. Congrats to Future and to Love Systems for showing that your true intention/passion is to help men better themselves while being respectful to women.

  14. Good piece of literature. It is important to realize there are plenty of fish in the see and we all have so many options within every facet of our lives and we should go with the best ones. We struggle with this all the time wondering if its the best we are going to get. You never know, and if it was meant to be it will present itself once again.

  15. Mariano M. says:

    Very good post. But I have some doubts on something. I get the point that you should not think that “that special woman” is the only “special person” you can get in your life. But I´m afraid that sometimes you just have to risk yourself and go 100% for what you think is the right person. Right now I´m going through a break up with some one that I was not 100% sure about but my feelings were very strong for that person. I did what every PUA forum told me not to do. After I dump her I came back. I was having some health issues (epylespy) that led me to some additional job problems (having to quit my job). My girl was a drama queen and I didn felt she was there for me akcnowldging my problems in their full dimension. I dediced to leave her to resolve my problems. It took me 2 months and a half to recover my health and to find a new job. Then, I called her back. I made the mistake to insist too much. I even went to her job. She told she wasn´t prepared to talk with me and that she needed time to figure all out. Despite that she was telling me that I was the love of her life she has not contacted me back. After I re-read some post I took some distance and I dissapeared. Now she is uploading some photographs with sexy clothes showing off that she is going out with some pseudo-friends of her. After my declaration of love she gave me some ambiguous answers. My point is that I do not regrett what I did. Maybe my mystake was not to fine-tune my come-back. But I wanted to go back with her and thats what I did. The other option was to “move on” but sometimes thats also a way to not confront the fact that you love someone very deeply. Most people dont want to care that much and dont want to risk themselves because they are afraid they gonna get hurt. Sometimes “moving on” is a way to not risk themselves and to not get hurt. Well, sometimes I can say fuck everything I will go all the way with this girl.

  16. It has truly made me tear up a little. Also Future’s majestic prose gave me a light hardon. Simply beautiful.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] savoy 's Kill Beatrice – http://www.therealsavoy.com/2009/05/…-beatrice.html You're saying you followed savoy 's how to get your ex-back, but still saying you're not over her. [...]

  2. [...] surprise. From this point forward, never let her know it bothers you. Some good reading material: CLASSIC POST: "Kill Beatrice" Long term GF dumped me unexpectedly – How I've responded, Hope it helps BetterThan's How to [...]

  3. [...] Originally Posted by Tolkien At UoN but I'm in London most of the times. And I actually hate her, whenever we talk or text (and I don't know why we still contact each other) I drop DHVs, occasional negs and alternate between playful and serious but she has a way of putting me down all the time. I realised I have one-itis so I have started to practice my game. I don't yet have a wing so I've only been doing DDG on campus. I've been with three not-so-pretty girls so far but each time I feel lonely as hell afterwards and keep imagining cuddling up to my ex. Yup, you've definitely got the Itus. Don't worry, it happens to all of us. That's why most people are on this forum in the first place. Read CLASSIC POST: "Kill Beatrice" – The Real Savoy | The Real Savoy PUA blog [...]

  4. […] Stop thinking you’ll never get anyone like her again. You dated her; you can date women like her. Or, hopefully, women who are even better for you. If you’re still pining, read the classic Love Systems article “Kill Beatrice.” […]

  5. […] Stop thinking you’ll never get anyone like her again. You dated her; you can date women like her. Or, hopefully, women who are even better for you. If you’re still pining, read the classic Love Systems article “Kill Beatrice.” […]

  6. […] Stop thinking you’ll never get anyone like her again. You dated her; you can date women like her. Or, hopefully, women who are even better for you. If you’re still pining, read the classic Love Systems article “Kill Beatrice.” […]

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