Anyway, I thought I’d include some of that conversation here for some readers who haven’t made it into the lounge yet:
I’m a little confused on this point. Best example was Savoy’s Ridiculously Awesome Week post, where he says “so I left them but asked Brad to get this girl’s number for me. This saved me the value loss of asking for it myself. Brad’s texted it to me an hour later, which allowed me to start text game the next day.”
I’ve been under the impression that not asking for the number yourself is a value loss. Like the girl’s mindset would be “This guy didn’t have the stones to ask me for my number to my face, and he wants to get in my pants? Rejected.” I don’t understand how it’s lower value to ask her for her number, even if you’ve just met her. Can anyone out there enlighten me on this?
Here’s what I responded with on The Lounge. Since that’s more of an advanced audience, we skipped over the caveats that I’d normally put into a post about this, like that a phone number in itself isn’t worth anything, etc. Anyway, the conversation on The Lounge has gone on a bit since then, but this covers the basic point:
Normally, I would not suggest getting a number “indirectly” as you put it. There are only a couple of situations where I’d do this:
1) Logistical constraints
2) Being incredibly high-value
There are a few kinds of logistical constraints where you might think of getting a number indirectly. In the blog post you’re talking about, I really only met that girl as we left the bar and walked to the car, maybe 3-5 minutes I think. A phone number could have been done directly then, but it would have been in front of everyone and just felt a little forced/quick/off. Another time I did it that way was when I met this girl who was (wait for it) my friend’s girlfriend’s friend, who was there with her boyfriend. I could feel attraction, but I didn’t have a ton of time with her alone, so I got her number via my friend once I left.
The other reason/situation is kind of like the rock star having a security guy get a girl’s number of invite her backstage for him. To a very small extent, that dynamic was also part of that night because of the attention I was getting from other women.
But this isn’t worth worrying about too much –I’ve probably done it this way less than 10 times in my life and usually in very specific situations.
Hope this helps!