A lot of men think that it’s a lot harder to find and date quality women online than it really is. Of course, that’s one of the major themes of the Gentleman’s Guide to Online Dating (released today). If you haven’t had a chance to get the book now, or you’ll still sifting through all the bonuses, then these tips can get you started.
1. Look at her “last logged in” date. Many dating sites will let you see this or let you search for this. Anything over 7 days, move on. Even if she does come back to the site, she’s probably going to have to mass delete all of her messages from when she was gone. Personally, I like to only message women who are currently online or who have been online that day.
2. Get off the site as soon as you can. Messages on a dating site are awkward and don’t feel to most omen like part of her daily life. Ideally, you want to meet up in person as soon as you can. If that’s too much of a jump from where you are, get her on the phone. Or texting. Or IMing. Or Facebooking. Or at least emailing with your real personal emails. You want to be part of her life even when she isn’t in “dating site” mode.
3. Use your photos to tell a story. I thought this was a great section from Cajun’s online dating course – how to use your pictures to tell a story. Your pictures aren’t to show off how good looking you are (though always try to look your best and Cajun has some great photography techniques for that that any guy can use); they’re to tell her about yourself. Have pictures of doing different things and with different people, etc.
4. It’s not a job interview!. In our research for the course, I was surprised at how uselessly most men acted on these sites. They read a woman’s profile and what she’s looking for, and then send her a message like these are job requirements and explaining how he meets them. Borrrrrrrring. Yes, of course she wants to know that you read her profile and that you have something in common, but there are much better ways than, “oh, you like sushi? I love sushi! And you like long walks on the beach too? That’s great! So do I!”. Cajun suggests using humor or teasing, which I agree with. Tell her that after your long walk on the beach, you and her are going to steal a pirate ship together. It shows you read her profile and are genuinely interested in her or curious about her, but that you’re not taking this stuff way too seriously. It’s how a fun and high-value non-desperate guy would do it, and that’s what she’s looking for.
I hope these help – though I’m hardly doing justice to Cajun’s work. Click the “expert online dating” link below to learn more about the Gentleman’s Guide and Cajun’s 30-day challenge: