7 Things Men don’t care about but MIGHT listen to if they think they’re getting laid afterward

I was doing some light edits and updates to the Savoy, Uncensored book, and it struck me — I’ve spent a lot of time in nightclubs, and a lot of that time has been spent with hot women of greatly varying intelligence and personality. I’ve met amazing women in my life and wouldn’t change anything, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have some cynical fun. So, without further ado:

7 Things Men Don’t Care About but MIGHT listen to if they think they’re getting laid afterward*
(* and you’re hot)

1. Your very complicated relationship with your sister (make sure that we start before puberty, ideally prenatally)
2. Your outfit, where you got it, what else you like to wear with it, other outfits you considered from the same store, and why you chose this one
3. Stories about your best friend (who we’ve never met), ideally on focusing on her changing hairstyle since the age of 12
4. Whatever everyone-gets-to-feel-good theory of “spirituality” you are currently masturbating your conscience with
5. How wrong it is that you had to pay cover tonight because your friend Jason the bouncer (talk for 10 mins about how much Jason loves you) normally lets you in
6. Your modeling “career”. Sweetie, it’s 1am at a nightclub and you’re 5’6 and on your fourth drink of the night. Real models are in bed, digesting carrot juice, with the alarm set for an 8am shoot.

And last but not least

7. All the reasons why you’re not coming home with me… until you do

I love the game…