PUA Frequently Asked Questions

Any man can become more successful with women, whether your goal is to have more options and better options in your dating life or whether you want to be a master Pick Up Artist (PUA).  It’s not as easy as flipping a switch.Like masterign any skill, it helps to work with experts, learn their secrets, and then practice, practice, practice.  These answers to frequently asked questions should help: 

I’m new to the PUA community. Where should I start?

Read about the Love Systems Triad. The Triad Model introduces the underlying structure to a successful pick up, and gives beginners an idea on what path leads most effectively to becoming a pick up artist.  If you want a comprehensive guide to dating women, get yourself a copy of Magic Bullets – it’s often been called the Bible of dating and attraction, since it’s so fundamental and most advanced dating science is based on principles from the book.

It’s also important you use the material.  You should spend at least three times as much time practicing as you do watching PUA videos, reading PUA Forums, and so on.

I can’t get over my approach anxiety. What should I do?

Start small. Try some socially acceptable scenarios such as asking a woman for the time, or directions, until you’re comfortable with the idea of engaging in longer conversation. The more approaches you make, the less anxiety you’ll feel.  Check out LS Braddock’s article here with some great pointers in overcoming approach anxiety.

Will learning pickup help me get my ex-girlfriend back?

Maybe.  It will certainly maximize your chances.  Usually the best strategy to get your ex-girlfriend back is to cut off contact for a period of time, get better with women in general, and then re-initiate contact when it’s obvious that you’re “different” and more attractive and compelling to her.  It’ll be harder for her to notice your transformation if she sees you every day.

Will I be able to attract beautiful women if I’m unattractive/ short/
overweight/ have one eye, etc?

Yes. What attracts women to men is different than what attracts us to women. Long story short, looks do not matter as much as how you feel about your looks. If you let it get into your head that you’re unattractive it will show through in your behavior, and she’ll be unattracted to that.  Put it this way – Love Systems instructors are among the top pick up artists in the world.  One of them, Mark V, has one arm.  Several are below 5’5 in height.  Etc.

I want to pickup women, but bars and nightclubs aren’t my thing.
What should I do?

Simple: pick up women during the day. Many men are more comfortable starting conversations in the calm environment of a bookstore or coffee shop. In fact, many women might be more receptive to being approached in the daytime since they aren’t fending sleazy guys off every 5 minutes like at the clubs.  You’ll definitely want to check out the Daytime Dating book by Jeremy Soul, too.

You can also develop and broaden your social circle so that you are “naturally” meeting beautiful women through friends.  This set of techniques is called Social Circle Mastery.

Do I need to attend a boot camp to become a really good PUA?

No, but attending a Love Systems Bootcamp makes this journey a lot easier, and faster. In one weekend, we teach what it would take months or even years to learn alone.

How long does it take to get really good at picking up & attracting women?

Every person is different, and “really good” is really vague to a PUA. Generally though, the average male is able to hold a conversation with minimal awkwardness after 2-3 months of consistent approaching, and some studying.

Usually, after 4-12 months, that average male will start succeeding more times than he’s failing.

Boot camps cut down learning time by months, even years for some men.

Where should I take a girl on a first date?

First of all, do NOT take her to dinner and a movie. She’s been on that date many times, and it’s not the ideal situation for you to demonstrate value.

Go to a few different places. It’ll keep the interaction fresh, and help build comfort. If possible, one of the places should be somewhere you have value – maybe a pool hall where you know the staff, or an art gallery for your friend’s exhibit. Bring her into your world.

Also, if you want to bring her to your home afterward, then each new place you two go should get closer and closer to your house.

I’m going out tonight, and I want to pickup women. I don’t have time
to read through a bunch of PUA blogs though. What should I do?

• Smile and have a good time.
• Be talkative. Approach a set the second you walk into the venue.
• Maintain confident body language. Don’t slouch or hold your drink in front of your chest.
• When you start a conversation with a female, stay away from “getting to know her” questions like “where are you from?” or “do you come here often?” in the beginning. Choose topics that are fun for you to talk about, but that other people can also enjoy. If she’s with a group, direct the conversation to everyone. Be funny if you can.
• After a few signs of interest from her, feel free to ask her for an opinion. Come up with a question, or ask for her opinion on the topic of conversation at hand. When she answers, lightly compliment her reply (not anything about her looks), and continue talking.
• After a few compliments, you can start busting out a few getting to know her questions. Talk about the topic you’re asking her about. Don’t just assault her with an interviewer’s chain of questions.
• Get her number.
• Stay for five minutes or so, and leave.

I get numbers easily, but I just don’t know what to say on the phone and in
text messages.

Generally, you’ll want to send her a light-hearted, preferably funny, text message soon after getting her number. Try to use something the two of you spoke about, and turn it into a joke (inside jokes are great).  During the text conversation, keep things light and funny. Avoid trying to make plans until you see her interest in you growing.  For hundreds of word-for-word text message scripts, check out The Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game.

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If you want more great tips and FAQs like these, sign up for the free Love Systems newsletter and get them delivered straight to your inbox. If you have a question not covered by this FAQ, be sure to check out the Attraction Forums or ask me directly on twitter @LS_Savoy